In the movie, a wife starts to doubt her sanity after her manipulative husband starts slowly dimming the gas lamps in their home and making other changes to their environment. The term originated from a 1938 play by Patrick Hamilton and the 1944 film adaptation Gaslight. It previously referred to extreme manipulation that could lead to someone developing a mental illness or needing to be committed to a psychiatric institution, but the APA says it’s used more generally now. Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse, where someone is manipulated into “doubting his or her perceptions, experiences, or understanding of events,” according to the American Psychological Association (APA).

This leaves victims of gaslighting questioning a past or present situation, as well as the intentions of others’ statements or actions and whether they’re reacting appropriately. She adds that gaslighters accuse their victims of exaggerating or misunderstanding a situation and sometimes deny that an event ever happened. Gaslighting takes place when someone “tries to get another person or a group of people to question or doubt their own beliefs or their own reality,” explains Danielle Hairston, M.D., assistant professor of psychiatry and psychiatry residency training director at Howard University.

But there are hallmark expressions and tactics that most can learn to associate with this toxic practice once they've learned to do so - “You’re blowing things way out of proportion.” “You’re misunderstanding what I’m saying.” “You’re just crazy.” If you're catching yourself recognizing these phrases while confronting your partner, sibling or your boss, all while constantly second-guessing yourself or apologizing for things you can't recall, you've fallen victim to gaslighting. Gaslighting can occur in unique ways in some of the most damaging, unhealthy relationships, where the other party manipulates conversations to minimize your feelings.

Gas lighting examples